How Not to Succeed With a Lap Band

Eat fucking sliders. Duh! Chips. Popcorn. Taco Bell Cantina Bowls. Long John Silver’s. (But it’s fish! Protein!) Ice cream. Gah! In the six weeks since I last had an aftercare. Six? Eight? I only lost two and three quarters pounds. That doesn’t include the two I had to re lose after gaining two fucking pounds because I was eating like an asshole. 

Yes, it is possible with a band. Don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t. 

Fuck me. I am so pissed but I am also more aware of what I was doing and how I was doing it. At my aftercare appointment last Monday I had a nice chat with my NP and she helped me get my head back in the game. My Lap Band is working fine, my fluid level is still holding me in my Green Zone but my brain was overriding the signals I wasn’t listening to and since I can’t put a band on my brain… Yeah. Shit got bad, stupid and real. 

I didn’t have more fluid put in my band. My NP said that if I wanted some, she could give me a sprinkle and I was briefly considering about a 1/4 cc push but I am really happy with my band where it is (I have 5 1/2 cc is a 10 cc band.) I have the right balance, satiety, good signalling (when I fucking listen, hitting my soft stop at the right portion size (again, when I listen) so there is no need to more fluid. Tighter doesn’t always mean better. My band will not work if I don’t work it. It is adjusted properly for me, I am the fuck up not my band. 

There is where a lot fo the “failure” rates with bands come from, you know. People who get out of the program, don’t do what they are supposed to do, fail and blame their bands, have them snatched out and go with a different procedure. In many instances (barring actual failure of the band, tubing or port, slipping or erosion) failure is entirely patient caused, not the fault of the band, it’s self. If you flame my ass on this point, do so respectfully, please. I am a big girl and wear those panties with aplomb but I won’t tolerate disrespect or nastiness. 😉

So, I am doing better. I am not perfect… I got into a nasty pattern with my eating and it is taking some time to get my head back into my band and get fully back on track but I am definitely doing MUCH better. My portion sizes are back down where they belong and I am eating slower, chewing better and taking smaller bites, again. Still with a few sliders, here and there but I am wirking hard on curbing them, as well and I am consuming a fuck ton less than I was. 

Progress not perfection. I am trying and I will get there.

I am loving this sunshine but this stupid wind and the lower temps? I can live without. Blech. 

I had more to say but I have other stuff to get done, right now so I will run along and come back and yammer more, later. 

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