Mornings Are for Gushy Food

As soon as I open my eyes, my cat is aware of that fact, knows that I have regained consciousness and has decided that, since it’s been a few minutes since he last snacked on the crunchies always available in his food dish he is starving to death and he needs his gushy food. NOW!!!! Poor baby. Starving too death. Bad, bad, evil Mama, makes him wait while she takes her morning stuffs, gets her coffee on and runs in to pee. Oh! the horror of it! The whole time, he is running back and forth, dogging my steps, rubbing on my legs, kissing ass, purring and meowing at a volume that would convince anyone that that he hadn’t been fed in a week. Then the moment the little turd gets the good stuff, that’s it. He doesn’t want to know. He is done until he wants something else. Typical cat.

How the fuck does a jumbo jet just “disappear?” In this day and age, with the technology we have available, satellites, radar, cell phones… All of the nattering about everything they have tried I haven’t heard anything about trying to contact or ping the cell phones of the passengers on board. Surely they have tried???? Please, tell me that I am not the only person that has thought of this? I’m sure I’m not. Still… A triple seven doesn’t just “disappear.” There is no pinging from the black boxes? No contact from the passengers, if the plane was landed, somewhere… Anywhere? Nope. Where is that plane? Did it crash? Is it deep in the ocean? Deep in a jungle? Did it land in a remote country and the people on board are being held, somewhere? It’s crazy and weird.

Had my hair done the other day. My roots were out of control! They get that way. Yeah, my hair is having a chemical romance with peroxide and dye. I had a few more layers cut around my face, too. I recently (just a few weeks ago) had my long hair cut to just below my shoulders. The shedding from my surgery in November, the resulting weight loss is fucking insane. I am losing hair in hanks.

When I was in prep for my surgery my hair was almost long enough for me to sit on. I knew that post surgery my hair was going to take a huge hit, shed like a sonofabitch and it was going to be rough so I started the dealing with it process by first doing a long psych myself up for it, then I had my stylist cut my hair to just above my bra strap. That was last September. It was still long, by most peoples standards, tho it felt pretty short to me, who was in to wearing her hair long. I let it grow from there and it was just about to my waist but it was shedding so terribly that the hair balls, especially on wash days, were the size of shower pouffs. Dealing with the huge shedding and the long hair was too depressing. As sad as I was to cut off my long hair, I couldn’t hack (if you will pardon the pun) the huge hairballs any longer. They were fucking bumming me out!

I accepted the fact that for the immediate future, anyway, I m going to be a shorter haired girl. It’s okay. I knew, going in to this that the likelihood that this would happen was high and I have been preparing myself for it. I knew that as I lose weight, I would lose hair. I am going to lose more for a while. It’s a good thing I have really thick hair because if I didn’t, I’d be half bald, by now! No joke. I have some thinning along my hairline, at my crown… my overall volume is down dramatically. I still have some hair. For now… I know that it won’t all fall out. I just hope that it won’t thin to the point that vast areas of scalp become visible.

Look, I am not trashing on anyone who looses their hair to medical treatments, such as chemotherapy. I feel for them. My cousin is fighting breast cancer for the second time around and has lost all of her hair, again. She had such beautiful hair. The women in our family are genetically blessed that way… But for me, since that is not the case, I am allowing myself vain whining. And yes, it is in the face of awareness that others are suffering much worse and no I don’t need lectures that others are suffering much worse. I get the others who are suffering much worse. I lost my mother to cancer last November so yeah, save your self righteous bullshit for someone else. I don’t need it and I don’t want it.

Okay, Erika, dial it down.

I was late for my appointment, the other day. I have become one of those people… Run late. I used to be that annoying person who is always so prompt, checking her watch, worried she will be late, is early. Now, I think I have bags of time so I take my time, fritter around, doinkity-doink and next thing you know… I’m late. But hey,


Am I right?

It’s nice to have fresh, bright roots. We talked about changing up my look a little with lowlights and deeper roots, then blowing my overall colour lighter, cooler, kind of a “bitch blonde” look. I was all about it but right now, with my shedding and thinning, I think that dark hair close to my scalp is a bad idea. I have a very light scalp and the contrast will only serve to emphasize the thinning even more. So, for now we are keeping my light all over look. She did my roots then mixed in some toner and pulled colour through to my ends, which she hadn’t done in a while and refreshed my hair all over and it looks good. I’ll do bitch blonde when the thinning stops and my thickness starts to recover.

I think I’ll link my Instagram to this blog, just for the fun of it. See how it works.


Playing With the Appearance a Bit

How the fuck do I change the font of my blog title? Cause I gotta tell ya… I hate the current font. So much to figure out. I think I like the header I put up. 



Yay! inserting photos works. And yeah… I feel that way. Migraines suck. So hard. 

Okay, so I know how to put in photos. Does this platform support GIFs? Let’s see…


Yep. I love this GIF. Helen Mirren twerking at the Hasty Pudding awards at Harvard. I love Helen Mirren and Yeah. How hilarious is this? 

Oh, one may ask if the memes in my header are exaggerations. Nope. I am a lousy cook. The lousiest. And I am damned proud of it. I am a good homekeeper, I like a neat, tidy, clean house and my husband helps, I am nobody’s maid. And yes, I would resent the fuck out of receiving a vacuum as a gift. Vacuums are household maintenance. Not presents. 

Let’s see about links…

Uh… What the fuck??? Why is my link button not working? I can’t make/post links in WordPress? What the hell good is a blog if I can’t post links? 

Must investigate. 

This sucks. 



Living La Vida Lap Band

Everyone thinks that once you have weight loss surgery it is smooth sailing. That the weight just flies off and that you don’t have to work for it, it is easy, fun and effortless. That weight loss surgery or, as it is commonly referred to as, WLS, is an easy way out, a cop out, a magic bullet, a cure for what ails a fat person. 


Weight loss surgery, whichever procedure a person chooses is a tool, nothing more. If a person has WLS and doesn’t work the program, isn’t compliant with the eating parameters and doesn’t get some exercise, they aren’t going to be successful. there are ways to “eat around” WLS and either not lose weight or even gain weight back. We hear stories all the time of people who are either unsuccessful in their weight loss efforts or they gain it all back, years later.

Newsflash. WLS isn’t an easy way out. It isn’t a cop out. It isn’t cure for obesity and it isn’t a magic bullet. Weight loss surgery is a tool. Full stop. It will help you. If you are willing to work with it. It won’t “make you skinny.” If you are looking into WLS to “make you skinny” without working the program, go fly a kite. If you can run. Bitchy? Yep. Don’t ask me to sugar coat bullshit and feed it to you. If that is what you are looking for, fuck off. This is my blog, not your happy, fluffy bunny land. 

I have a 10 cc AP Lap Band with 5 1/2 cc of fluid on board. I am , for the most part compliant with the eating rules and I am losing weight. Please note that I said “compliant” not perfect. I am human. Very, very human. And you don’t get to 378 pounds by having “perfect” eating patterns. I will never have “perfect” eating patterns. My past history tells me this. My Lap Band is a tool that aids me in being compliant with having better, healthier eating patterns. Not “perfect.” better, healthier. Good. I am not in this for perfect. I am a perfectionist, it is in my nature and I battle it all of the time but that is not with this is about. This is about saving my life and getting me to a healthy, normal weight. Whatever that looks like, for me. 

How much weight have I lost? 49 pounds, so far. Not stellar. I get that. it could be more. I am not exercising as much as I could. I am a lazy slag and I know it. I need to get more exercise. I need to get these fucking hemorrhoids dealt with so I can exercise with more comfort. Fucking pre op diet, anyway. That is what started this whole business. Bleargh! I have a prescription topical that helps but I need to have a procedure to kill them. Not looking forward to it. 

Yeah. I really wanted to talk about my ass on the Internet. 

Well, that was a buzzkill. I’ll talk more about more, later, 

Let’s Get This Party Started!

The goal of this blog is two fold. First, to have a place to natter about life, my band and whatever. Second, I need to learn how to navigate the WordPress platform before I move my beauty blog over to self hosted WordPress from Blogger. Blogger has been great, but if I want to take my beauty blog to the next level, I have to take off the training wheels and make the move.

I have a lot to learn before that happens. This platform is freaking me out! It looks good, tho. Yikes!